Quit it.
Query letters in which you tell me that your book can't possibly be appreciated in the mere five pages our submission guidelines request so therefore you have sent me many unsolicited chapters do not endear you or your novel to me. They tell me you have no respect for the other writers submitting. I have news for you. Some of them are better writers than you are. Some of them are worse. Many of them may not be writing something I want to read. But they are all just as special as you are. They have worked hard and finished their novel. They are amazing for doing that. Each and every one of them.
Don't you think I know that five pages isn't enough to fully appreciate a story? Certainly anyone could agree with that sentiment. But that's not the point of the query package. It's a presentation. An invitation to read. To be enticed.
And I have news for you. This attitude means I would rather work with them than you. I would rather read their book than yours. So your book would have to be hands down, 8000% better than theirs for me to consider it.
Because, I repeat, they are just as special as you are.
To everyone out there who follows submission guidelines, who takes the time to send what an agent asks for, who helps us in our constant search for new books we can love and clients we can adore: THANK YOU.
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Comments
Or maybe go with the obvious answer of the first five pages.
Besides the guidelines on their website answer the question by specifying first five pages Can't get any clearer than that. And the research took me a whole 30 seconds
No, see, you don't get it: I'm special and "the rules" don't apply to me.
Sigh. My condolences. On an up note, the amount that you truly respect (at least initially!)the authors submitting to you, whether or not you pick them up, is why you are so busy. Huzzah to you! And booo to the less than considerate special snowflakes you have to deal with.
Thanks for the kudos at the end there.
Mine will be in your inbox by this time next week. :) And that's because I will be triple-checking the requirements before I submit.
It's ironic though because I've read blogs from authors who've said things like "even if they ask for only a query, I always put my first few pages afterwards so they could scroll down." And these are people telling us how they got their agent. Sigh.
I've never done it. I've always followed the sub directions to a T, but I've been tempted. Thanks for making your tastes so clear.
I'm not really sure how that's a problem.
Or do you mean people who paste 5 pages despite being told not to? 'Cause yeah, that's less cool.
I've also read a query critique by Nathan Bransford where he wrote "oh, she has a website, cool" when a writer included her link. And I read on Fangs and Fur's query section that a writer gained rep. through her website. Yet another agent just recently claimed that was a turn off, comparing it to saying something like "hey babe, come see my bedroom."
The key is to personalize each query, to learn each agent's specific tastes. Of course, I say that without having had any luck at it. But I persevere.
They are a bit annoying in the sense that, if the query isn't blatantly awful, I then have to email them and say, "Please send the first 5 pages like our requirements said." And more annoying for them because now they have to wait twice as long to get a true response (because my requests for 5 pages go right back into the query pile; they don't get special treatment for not following the guidelines).
The thing is that it puts the burden of proof on just the pitch in the query.
Might as well stamp "Please Just Toss In The Recycle Bin" on it in large, friendly, red letters.
But as long as people are still being surprisingly stupid, I'm glad there are still people willing to bitchslap them a bit for it.
Aggression and perseverance are frequently rewarded in many areas of society. Thanks for not being one of them (at least re: aggression).
Bane
I'm thinkin' at least 10,000%, and even that seems pretty minimal. Of course if you can't read and follow directions, you probably can't write to that standard anyway, so....what the heck.
As an aside, do you get people who quibble over how to measure a page?
Well it was just five pages when I sent it. Of course, it was single-spaces in 4 pt font, but...it WAS just five pages. Double sided.
C
I'm reminded of that old line in grade school. The one that the teachers had to read before you took an "achievement test."
I will now read the instructions. The instructions tell you what to do! Doh!
...Oh, wait. Who am I kidding? I know people in my own age group who act more like kids than most of the kids I know.
Aren't the "sense of entitlement" and "I'm better than you are" issues the primary reasons behind the fall of the Roman Empire? The barbarians are knocking at the gates of the agents. Soon all of literary creation shall be pillaged, plundered, and ransacked. Then what shall we read for enlightened entertainment?
Besides the phone book, that is.
Why wouldn't someone want to get it right? It's hard enough to get published while doing everything correctly.
~Tyhitia
I simply cannot understand how an individual hoping to get published does things like not reading submission guidelines or intentionally ignoring submission guidelines (because they know better). Or, better still, explaining how the agent can't possibly do their job properly by following said guidelines.
(shakes head)
Half of my family is from the south and I've found the following two tidbits of advice work very well for me in life:
1) treat people the way you want to be treated
2) you can catch more flies with honey than vinegar
Folksy sayings, yes, but surprising accurate in real-life situations.