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Dear Writer who thinks you deserve more of my time and attention than the other 200 or so people querying me this week:

Quit it.

Query letters in which you tell me that your book can't possibly be appreciated in the mere five pages our submission guidelines request so therefore you have sent me many unsolicited chapters do not endear you or your novel to me. They tell me you have no respect for the other writers submitting. I have news for you. Some of them are better writers than you are. Some of them are worse. Many of them may not be writing something I want to read. But they are all just as special as you are. They have worked hard and finished their novel. They are amazing for doing that. Each and every one of them.

Don't you think I know that five pages isn't enough to fully appreciate a story? Certainly anyone could agree with that sentiment. But that's not the point of the query package. It's a presentation. An invitation to read. To be enticed.

And I have news for you. This attitude means I would rather work with them than you. I would rather read their book than yours. So your book would have to be hands down, 8000% better than theirs for me to consider it.

Because, I repeat, they are just as special as you are.

To everyone out there who follows submission guidelines, who takes the time to send what an agent asks for, who helps us in our constant search for new books we can love and clients we can adore: THANK YOU.